


Hurdles

by DerNacht



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Anger, Appendicitis, Changbin and Chan Argue, Family, Fighting, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Hyunjin centric, Protective Changbin, Sadness, Sick Character, Some members are really only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:42:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21641647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DerNacht/pseuds/DerNacht
Summary: Things had been a bit rough for Stray Kids since Woojin had left and they were all dealing with it in different ways. When one of the members suddenly falls ill, will it be the catalyst Stray Kids needs to pull themselves back together as a family?
Relationships: Just Family!, No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 160





	1. The Struggle

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Everyone! This is my very first ever story so I hope you enjoy it! Suggestions and constructive criticism are always welcome but please be gentle as I am very nervous posting this. I think it's important to note this is not medically accurate whatsoever, I only used what I could remember from seeing cases of Appendicitis on TV shows and in movies and I took it to a bit of an extreme to add to the story. This is purely from my imagination and is not an accurate depiction of anything, it's just for fun! I tried to scrub it for errors as best as I could but there is bound to be some so I apologize for that. I love Stray Kids and will always support them no matter what!

Chan would be lying if he said things weren’t hard since Woojin announced he was leaving Stray Kids, all of them felt the strain. Stays were sad and confused and it was no different for the eight remaining members but they had no choice but to continue on as they were; striving to make their dreams come true. Still. It was hard. Reminders of Woojin’s missing presence were everywhere and everyone was dealing with it differently. 

Changbin would lock himself in his room every spare second of free time he had; writing and producing music he wouldn’t let anyone listen to. Chan would periodically knock on the door to bring him food and water, which he was at least accepting so he left him to his creative processes. If this is what he needed to do to sort out his feelings, Chan wasn’t going to get in his way. Considering a lot of the other ways Changbin could have chosen, he decided this wasn’t too bad of a coping mechanism. 

Minho’s normally 4D personality that always serves to brighten up the day with his incredible wit and creativity, had been rather dim as of late. So many perfect opportunities for him to tease his members passed by without even so much as a glance from Minho. Attempts made by the rest of Stray Kids to bring it out were mildly successful, so Chan considered it a temporary situation and continued to think of activities and opportunities to shake him out of it. 

Jisung, the other third of 3RACHA was having the exact opposite problem of Changbin. No matter how much he tried, Jisung couldn’t write a single lyric. It was like he had lost his voice and he didn’t know what he wanted to say anymore. The more he struggled with writing, the more frustrated he got as their talented speaker was not used to being at a loss for words. Chan would gently remind him not to force it and that his voice would come back once he found the right muse and not to worry since they had plenty of time before they had to release another album. 

Seungmin, though an absolute sweetheart, had always had a bit of a bite but it went from a small nibble to a full blown snap. His sharp tongue slicing through whatever unfortunate victim had crossed his path. On more than one occasion he had gotten into a fight with another member that Chan had to quickly settle. He knew Seungmin was hurting but he often had to remind him that that wasn’t a good enough reason to hurt others. They had practiced taking a deep breath together and taking a moment to think before responding to someone. So far it had settled considerably compared to the first few weeks. 

Felix and I.N. had both taken to being extra clingy lately. It wasn’t entirely out of the ordinary for Felix but I.N. was usually always trying to prove how grown up he was so it was abnormal to see him constantly latched to some member or another. Like his approach with Changbin, if cuddles were what they needed to feel better, then Chan was happy to oblige. He would often find them in the bed of another member when he checked on everyone at bedtime before turning in himself. 

Chan was dealing with it by trying to handle absolutely everything at once on his own. Every waking moment he was thinking of how they were going to continue on and repair their fractured group. He was constantly in meetings with their managers and staff to make sure everything went as smoothly as possible and plan for the future. When he wasn’t in meetings he was producing music. When he wasn’t doing that, he was constantly seeing after the group. He had become an absolute perfectionist, worrying over every small detail. He didn’t get much sleep before but this certainly made that matter worse. The stress was beginning to get to him and it showed through his frayed nerves. He just needed to hold out a little longer and then they could rest he would tell himself when he felt himself losing control. 

Hyunjin’s way of dealing with the departure of Woojin was to throw himself into work in every form that meant. Hyunjin was so scared that Stays would leave because they were upset that he decided he needed to work even harder to become a better version of himself. He would spend hours choreographing new dances, most of the time stumbling home exhausted at 4AM before waking up for their schedule at 6AM. His handsome looks had been gaining him new popularity so anytime he was offered an MC job or a guest appearance, he would leap for it with excitement. Every time Chan tried to talk to Hyunjin about how he was doing, he would always get the response that he was fine so Chan decided not to push the issue. After all, Hyunjin’s incredible determination was not something he could easily fight with. Most of hyunjin’s trainee days he had heard he didn’t need to try to so hard since his looks would get him anything he wanted and that he could never be the main dancer, but he worked so hard to prove them all wrong and debut as the main dancer for Stray Kids. Hyunjin’s schedule had become so hectic that Stray Kids would usually only see him a small portion of the day so no one noticed that Hyunjin’s tall frame, though still lean from dancing, had thinned considerably. 

Chan had started to believe that they were going to make it through more or less unscathed as they had just wrapped up their tour and were set to perform on stage at MAMA before earning few weeks rest until their new album was released. Re-recording Seungmin and Minho over all of Woojin’s original parts had been difficult but they had done it and they were proud of their upcoming album despite everything. Their schedule had been pretty grueling but they made it through somehow. Chan had been hard on them the past couple of weeks, telling them Stray Kids needed to be perfect to show fans they were okay and could continue on. His strictness was beginning to take its toll on the group as he demanded nothing less than their 100% effort. No one complained though, they all knew Woojin’s departure was hitting Chan the hardest and this was just his way of coping. Every time he scolded them they just looked at the floor and told him they would do better. 

Stray kids were in the practice room rehearsing for their performance when he noticed something off. Hyunjin’s normally sharp and powerful moves had become loose and sloppy. They had been practicing for most of the morning and everyone was fatigued but it was only Hyunjin who was pulling his focus.

“Let’s take a break everyone, we’ll circle up after everyone has had a drink!” Bang Chan announced to the group as the final song in their MAMA set had finished. “Hyunjin-ah, can I talk to you for a second?” They younger stopped on his way to retrieve his water and turned back towards his leader, a quizzical look on his face. 

“What’s up Hyung? Everything okay?” Hyunjin asked as he approached. 

“Well that’s the question, is everything okay? Your dancing isn’t up to it’s usual standard today. Our performance is tonight and we cannot afford for you to be making rookie mistakes.” Chan responded. A look of panic crossed Hyunjin’s face. 

“No! I am fine I promise. I am sorry, I will work harder!” Hyunjin answered eagerly, panic changing to determination. Chan smiled and patted him on the back. He had always been a bit strict with Hyunjin but the younger could handle it. He needed him to be on his game tonight. 

“Alright, then let's get back to work!” Chan said, summoning everyone back to the center of the practice room. The rest of practice went better and Chan felt comfortable releasing everyone back to the dorm. He instructed everyone to eat and rest before he headed off to the studio to finish a few last minute details. The rest of Stray Kids herded home and burst through the front door, arguing over who was getting to shower first and who got to choose what they were going to eat. Changbin noticed Hyunjin shuffling behind where he would normally be up at the front, fighting with Jisung and Seungmin for the first shower before offering to all shower together. 

“Everything okay Jinnie?” He asked his younger brother, resting a hand on his shoulder. Hyunjin flashed him a bright smile.

“I’m okay, I am just a little tired hyung” he answered, Changbin smiled in kind. 

“You and me both kid! Let’s shower, eat, and get some sleep. Ya! Seungmin get out of the bathroom, Hyunjin is going to shower first!” Changbin yelled across the dorm. He was met with complaints from his other younger brother as he exited the bathroom to let Hyunjin in. 

A few hours later everyone was sound asleep when alarms started going off, signaling the time to get up and make their way back to the arena to prepare for the show. Chan hadn’t come home but that wasn’t unusual, he probably took a nap on the couch in the studio and would meet everyone at the performance. Changbin stretched as he moved to get out of bed. He looked over as Hyunjin was also getting out of his bed when he saw him suddenly sway on his feet. Changbin rushed across the room and caught him before he fell face first to the floor. As he helped Hyunjin sit carefully back on his bed, he couldn’t help but notice him wince in pain. 

“What’s wrong, are you feeling sick?” Changbin asked, searching his friend’s face as worry creased his own. 

“No I’m fine, I guess I am just a bit sore from our busy schedule lately” He smiled up at Changbin. “We better get going or Channie-hyung will scold us for being late” he said as he slowly rose to get dressed. Unconvinced, Changbin decided to keep a close eye on him as they got ready for their stage at MAMA. Hyunjin was much more subdued backstage than he normally was and Changbin noticed a thin sheen of sweat had appeared on his forehead. Even his movements were small and controlled, as if he were moving as little as possible to avoid pain. Changbin decided enough was enough and he needed to talk to their leader. 

“Chan-hyung, I think there is something wrong with Hyunjin.” Changbin said as he pulled his leader away from the conversation he was having with their maknae. The boys looked across the room at their main dancer as he was laughing at something Minho was saying. 

“He looks fine to me” Chan shrugged as he moved to go back to I.N. Changbin’s hand snaked out to catch his elbow. 

“No I am telling you he isn’t okay. Earlier he almost passed out getting out of bed and I think he is in pain.” Changbin answered, desperation and worry in his voice as he tried to convince Chan of his suspicions. 

“He probably just stood up too fast and is sore from all the performances we have had lately.” Chan retorted as he ripped his arm from Changbin’s grip and moved towards I.N. Changbin quickly blocked his path. 

“Would you listen to me?! He canNOT perform with us tonight.” He said frantically. Chan let out an exasperated sigh. 

“Look I talked to him earlier and he said he was fine. We’re all tired and sore, Hyunjin isn’t the only one okay? It’s too late to pull him from the show now, we aren’t prepared to do this without him. I know it has been rough lately but we just have to get through this performance and then everyone will get the rest they deserve.” He answered, giving Changbin a stern “this is the end of the discussion” look. Changbin shook his head in disbelief. He couldn’t believe their leader, the always caring and protective Bang Chan wasn’t listening to what he had to say. 

“STRAY KIDS TO THE STAGE. STRAY KIDS TO THE STAGE, YOUR PERFORMANCE IS NEXT” the producer’s voice suddenly blasted through the dressing room. The pre-stage jitters overtook everyone as they rose to make their way to the stage. Changbin saw Hyunjin wince and grab his right side as he heaved himself off the couch. As they lined up in the hallway next to the stage Changbin stood behind his close friend. Hyunjin definitely looked pale. Just as Changbin reached forward to confront him, the MCs announced their performance and everyone rushed forward. There was nothing he could do. 

Changbin’s eyes found Hyunjin every second he could spare a glance and he was amazed. This would probably go down as one of Hyunjin’s best performances. His moves were sharp and perfect, his expressions were on point and he didn’t miss a beat. The Fan-cams were going to be legendary. It was a flawless performance but it did nothing to calm Changbin's anxiety. He just knew something wasn't right. They ended their performance and swiftly exited the stage back to their dressing room. There was a hum of excitement about the group, this was sure to be one of the top trending performances of the night. Changbin shook off Jisung, who was celebrating the success of the night as he waited for Hyunjin to enter the room. He came in last, sweaty, pale, and out of breath. Changbin hurried over to him just as he doubled over, clutching his right side again. 

“Hyunjin, talk to me. What’s wrong?” Changbin asked, gently grabbing the sides of his face, pulling his head up to look into his face. Hyunjin was almost hyperventilating now. His gaze met Changbin’s, eyes filled with fear. Others had begun to notice as conversations hushed around the room and everyone’s eyes turned to them.

“Hyung, I don’t feel so good. My side really hurts” suddenly Hyunjin crumpled to the ground, letting out a scream of pain. Changbin did his best to soften the blow as Hyunjin’s body hurdled towards the floor. Everyone rushed forward, Chan reaching the pair in seconds. 

“Hyunjin, try to stay still” Chan ordered. He turned to the others in the room “Someone go get help!” He barked to no one in particular. He saw a blur of red as, who he assumed was Jisung, streaked from the room in search of help. He faintly heard the beeping of numbers being pressed on a cell phone behind him as their manager called 119. His full attention on Hyunjin, who was writhing around on the floor. Chan felt his his forehead and gasped. Hyunjin was burning up, he had never felt someone with such a high temperature before. He slightly turned back to everyone behind him, “Someone find some towels and some ice to try and cool him down.” There was rustling behind him as someone moved to comply. Just as he turned back, Hyunjin suddenly wretched and vomited on the floor. He looked up at Chan, whimpering as tears started to fall from his eyes. He was so pale. “Shhhh it’s okay baby, it’s going to get better really soon. Doctors are on their way, they will be here before you know it” Chan said in the most soothing tone he could muster, gently stroking Hyunjin’s hair as Changbin gripped Hyunjin’s hand. As if on cue, two doctors from the medical team rushed in through the door, Jisung following closely behind. The slid in on either side of Hyunjin, gently pushing Chan and Changbin out of the way. 

“What have we got?” One of the doctors asked, feeling Hyunjin’s forehead. 

“He…” Chan started, but trailed off as he realized he didn’t know what to tell them. 

“He just threw up, he has a high fever, and he has been grabbing his right side since this afternoon.” Changbin answered immediately. The doctor began gently pressing along Hyunjin’s abdomen. As he approached the right side, Hyunjin let out another scream. Chan and Changbin lunged forward, reaching for him. 

“I think his appendix ruptured, we need to get him to the hospital as quickly as possible.” One of them said, bringing out ice packs from their bag and gratefully accepting the ice that Minho was offering them as he returned to the room. They began to gently rub the ice on Hyunjin’s neck and arms as two EMTs burst through the door. The doctors filled the EMTs in on Hyunjin’s condition and quickly exited to give them the space to work. 

“Hyung…” Hyunjin said weakly, between labored breaths as the EMTs took his vital signs. Changbin and Chan both leaned forward at the same time to better hear him. “I feel weir…” Hyunjin trailed off as his eyes rolled back into his head. Suddenly his body was convulsing and one EMT was attempting to hold him steady while the other gave him an injection. 

“He’s seizing from his high fever, we need to move him now.” One said to the other, who nodded in confirmation. “On three, we move him…one…two…three!” They shifted Hyunjin onto the stretcher and stood up. “Only one person can ride with him.” They said as they began to leave the room. Chan raced forward before anyone could react. 

“Minho you’re in charge, take everyone home! I’m riding with Hyunjin.” He called over his shoulder as he followed the EMTs to the ambulance. All the rest of Stray Kids could do was stare in disbelief at everything that had just unfolded. It was I.N. who made the first move. He fell into Minho’s arms, sobbing. 

“Is Hyunjinnie Hyung going to be okay? He asked with shaky breaths, looking up at Minho. The older smiled down at their maknae. 

“Of course, Chan hyung is with him so he’ll be okay. He won’t let anything happen to him.” Across the room, Changbin scoffed. Minho whipped his head around to face him, only to be met with an angry gaze. “Come on, let’s go home and wait for news.” Minho said as he decided to ignore Changbin. He was met with a chorus of “No ways” as his younger brothers shook their heads at him. It was Jisung who spoke up. 

“We are going to the hospital.” He said with a fierce determination in his eyes. 

“But Chan told us to go…” Minho began. 

“I don’t care what he said!” Jisung shouted before he could finish. “How are we expected to just sit at home and wait until he calls us? We are going to the hospital, with or without you.” He finished, crossing his arms, daring Minho to counter. Minho let out a heavy sigh. 

“Alright then. But you will be the one to take Chan’s wrath for disobeying him.” Minho said as everyone nodded in agreement. “Manager can you please drive us to the hospital?” 

. . . 

Stray Kids rushed into the hospital to find Bang Chan sitting in the waiting room with his head in his hands as tears fall onto his lap. 

“Chan Hung!” Felix shouted as they approached. Chan looked up in surprise. 

“What are you doing here? I told you guys to go home!” Chan said in disbelief as he wiped the tears from his eyes. It was unusual for his kids to disobey him so blatantly. 

“We couldn’t just sit at home, we wanted to be here for Hyunjin.” Jisung answered. “How is he?” He asked. Chan lost the argument he was about to start as he looked into the eyes of his kids. There was no way they were going to relent. 

“He had another seizure in the ambulance and they took him into surgery.” He answered honestly. Chan observed everyone’s faces fall into looks of despair. “Everyone sit down and I’ll see if I can find everyone some food.” Chan responded, ushering everyone into chairs in the waiting room. 

What felt like an eternity later, a doctor approached. 

“Family of Hwang Hyunjin?” He asked. Everyone jumped from their seats and moved forward, eagerly awaiting to hear the status of their friend. “I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group finds out just how bad Hyunjin's condition is. Worried for their brother they begin to take their frustration out on each other before realizing they are the only family they have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real talk I have no idea what I am doing but here is the next chapter! I am thinking this might be wrapped up by next chapter? There might be a 4th but it honestly depends on where I take the next one. I really appreciate the kind words of encouragement I received! Please feel free to leave comments and suggestions. Let me know what you think!

“I have good news and bad news. What do you want to hear first?” The doctor asked, scanning the eyes of the group. It was chan who spoke. 

“Good news.” He was hoping whatever the good news was would soften the blow of whatever bad news followed. 

“Well he made it through surgery just fine. He is being moved into his room in the ICU as we speak. His appendix ruptured but exploded might be a more apt description, I am amazed he was able to perform while in that much pain.” The doctor said, shaking his head. Guilt rose in Chan’s throat like bile, why hadn’t Hyunjin told him it was so bad? “Now for the bad news, his condition is still highly unstable. He has already seized twice from his fever and he isn’t out of that danger zone. It doesn’t help that Hyunjin seems to be suffering from exhaustion on top of everything so his body is tired and not able to fight off the infection as quickly as it normally would. We are giving him some of the strongest antibiotics there are, with his weakened immune system he could easily catch something from the hospital. He also isn’t breathing very well on his own so we have placed him on a respirator to help.” The doctor finished. 

“When will he be awake?” Jisung piped up from behind Chan somewhere. 

“I am afraid I can’t answer that. It could be a few hours, a few days or maybe even a few weeks. We just really aren’t sure” the doctor answered honestly. He gave the group a look of pity as the realization of Hyunjin’s condition began to set in. “Once we have him settled, a nurse will be by to take you to his room so you can visit with him.” He offered Chan a pat on the shoulder before walking away. 

Everyone was in a state of shock after the doctor left. How could things have gotten so bad so fast? They were riding the high of their incredible performance just a few hours ago. How did they suddenly get here? Everyone was replaying the events of the day in their mind over and over again, self-reproach gripping them as they realized all the signs they had missed or ignored because they were too caught up in their own minds. Lost in their thoughts, they barely noticed the nurse as she approached until she gently cleared her throat. 

“I can take you to see Hyunjin now” she said with a small smile. “This way” she guided as everyone moved to follow her. 

It was a short journey to Hyunjin’s room, just around the corner from the waiting room. The nurse opened the door, inviting everyone in. There were gasps of shock as their eyes took in what their beautiful and powerful dancer had been reduced to. Hyunjin was one of the tallest in Stray Kids but laying in bed hooked up to so many monitors and machines, he looked so small. More like a child than a fearless and charismatic performer. The repetitive and slightly unnerving noise of the ventilator was the only sound in the room as it continuously pushed air into Hyunjin’s lungs. He was still so sweaty and pale. Tears fell silently as fear kept everyone from moving forward, he looked so fragile. 

Too focused on Hyunjin, Chan never saw it coming. Pain exploded across his left cheek and he was suddenly sprawled out on the floor. There was no time to recover as someone had jumped on top of him, dealing repeated blows. All Chan could do was hold up his arms in defense, too surprised to fight back from his unknown assailant. 

“This is all your fault!!” An angry voice screamed at him. Changbin. It was Changbin who was hitting him Chan realized. “I told you there was something wrong with him but you wouldn’t listen. Now he could die and it’s your fault!” He yelled, tears falling onto Chan’s shirt. 

Minho and Jisung lunged forward, each grabbing one of Changbin’s arms to stop his assault on their leader. Together they yanked Changbin off Chan and pinned him to the opposite wall. Felix and Seungmin rushed to the oldest and offered help as he gingerly picked himself up off the ground, his face stinging and blood leaking from the corner of his mouth. He was definitely going to bruise, Changbin had gotten in at least two good hits before Chan could put his arms up. Across the room Changbin was grunting as he was fighting to shake his brothers’ hold on him. 

“Let me go! He deserves this, look what he did to Hyunjin!” He rasped, his voice strained with rage. 

“Stop it Changbin-hyung you know it isn’t his fault!” Jisung yelled back, struggling to keep his grip. 

“Exactly, Hyunjin should have told us he was sick!” Minho reasoned. “How was Chan-hyung supposed to know?” He asked. 

“I told him Hyunjin shouldn’t perform with us but he did nothing!” Changbin screeched, his brother’s words doing nothing to soothe his anger. Chan was silent, Changbin was right. It was his responsibility as leader to make sure everyone was okay and he failed. Two nurses and Hyunjin’s doctor burst in through the door. 

“What the hell is going on in here?” The doctor questioned, his eyes studying Chan before settling on Changbin. “This is not what Hyunjin needs right now. All of you have to leave right now, I can’t have you upsetting my patient.” He said sternly, daring anyone to argue with him. Changbin threw off Minho and Jisung and stalked from the room, the others slow to follow him as they looked longingly at Hyunjin. Just as Chan was exiting the room the doctor reached out and grabbed his arm. “Not you, I need to treat your injuries. We need to be sure you don’t have a concussion.” The doctor said gently. Chan looked up at him and then at his kids, most of who had stopped and turned around upon hearing the doctor’s words. 

“Minho, take them home.” Chan said in defeat. “I should be right behind you.” 

Back in the waiting room, Chan didn’t even wince as the doctor began cleaning the scratches on his face and arms, he was too busy fighting the despair threatening to consume him. The doctor lowered his arm and sighed. 

“Look, I don’t know exactly what happened but I know it wasn’t your fault. There was no way for you to predict this would occur. He obviously hid it well and no one else in your group noticed either. Hyunj…” 

“Changbin noticed” Chan said soullessly, not looking at the doctor. 

“Yes and that’s probably why he is feeling worse than you right now. He probably feels like he should have done more to stop him since he knew something wasn’t right. His fight with you was really more about being angry with himself and now he most likely feels even worse because he hurt you.” Chan was stunned by the doctor’s wisdom, but doubt still plagued him. 

“But I am the leader. None of them have any family so I took responsibility for them when I asked all of them to be a part of Stray Kids.” Chan countered, not willing to let go of his guilt. 

“Obviously Hyunjin is a determined kid. If he was so set to perform that he was willing to endure such pain then I doubt there was anything anyone could have said or done that would have stopped him.” At this Chan finally broke down, burying his face in his hands. 

“We’ve been through a lot and it’s been so hard lately.” He said between sobs. The doctor wrapped his arm around Chan’s shoulders, giving him a comforting squeeze. 

“I don’t know what you have been through but I can tell you really care for all of them. You kids can get through anything together, I am sure of that. I’m not saying you won’t make mistakes, or that it won’t be hard but you can do it. It’s important for you to remember you are also still a kid and, leader or not, you shouldn’t shoulder such burdens alone.” Chan’s tears began to subside as the doctor’s words sunk in. “I think you should stay here with Hyunjin tonight. He may not be conscious but there are many that believe he can still feel your presence and I think it will do you both some good.” The doctor said with a smile. “I’ll have the nurse prepare a bed for you.” He stood up, gave Chan’s shoulder one last squeeze, and then was gone. 

. . . 

Stray kids opened the front door to their dorm and filed in. It had been a quiet car ride home but frustration had finally found its way to the surface.

“Why would you do that you idiot?? You got us kicked out of the hospital, we should be there for Hyunjin right now!” Seungmin blurted out, his words reflecting the feelings of the rest of his members. He set his sharp gaze on Changbin. 

“It’s Chan’s fault Hyunjin is even in the hospital” Changbin retaliated. 

“Would you stop with that already? It’s all of our faults, no one noticed! And Hyunjin didn’t tell anybody” Jisung said, jumping into the fray. 

“I did!” Changbin exploded. “I told Chan not to let him go on stage with us but he refused to listen” 

“Why didn’t you tell anyone else? One of us might have listened to you! Or if you knew then why didn’t you do more to stop him?” Minho countered, adding in his two cents to the argument. Changbin raised his fists, ready to confront Minho. In response, Minho stepped into a more solid stance, arms also raised, to absorb whatever blow Changbin was about to launch at him. Beside him Jisung tensed but kept his arms lowered. 

“JUST STOP IT ALL OF YOU!” Everyone took a surprised step back. They turned to look at their maknae who was now breathless, tears welling up in his eyes. “Just stop it.” He repeated, quieter this time. “I can’t stand all of this fighting! We are supposed to be a family. This is not the time to be falling apart, we need to come together for Hyunjin.” He whined, tears finally breaking free from their restraints. Felix quickly wrapped the younger in a tight hug. 

“It’s okay Innie, you’re right. We shouldn’t be fighting” He said softly, trying to comfort the younger. Jisung quickly crossed the room and wrapped both of them in his arms. He was followed by Seungmin and Minho. Changbin lingered behind, uncertain if he should join. Minho turned slightly, one arm still wrapped around his younger brothers, the other outstretched towards Changbin. 

“Come here you idiot” he said and Changbin rushed towards them. 

“I’m sorry guys, I am so, so, so sorry.” Changbin repeated over and over. The steel outer shell he had carefully crafted crumbled to dust as he cried while holding the only family he had ever known. 

“It’s okay Binnie-Hyung. It wasn’t your fault either, we’re all just upset and worried about Hyunjin.” Felix replied as he held Jeongin in his embrace. The youngest had said what they all needed to hear, tensions draining from the room as they clung to one another. 

They stood like this for a while before they were snapped out of it by the ringing of a cellphone. 

. . . 

Chan hung up the phone with Minho, collecting himself. He had called to let them know he was going to stay at the hospital and not to wait up but he would call if there was any news. Chan made his way back to Hyunjin’s room. He stiffly slid into the chair next to the bed, the soreness from his fight with Changbin setting in. He gently pushed a stray strand of hair from Hyunjin’s forehead before taking his hand. He was still so warm, his face now flushed with fever. The tears began to fall freely again. 

“Hyung is so sorry Hyunjin. You just have to wake up baby, I promise I am going to be better. I am going to take care of you, you can always come to me.” Chan said quietly. Hyunjin’s fingers twitched in Chan’s hand and Chan lurched to his feet. “Hyunjin?! Hyunjin can you hear me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for sticking with me to the end of this chapter! I only hope to improve my writing skills from here to provide better stories for you to read.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well it took me a VERY long time but here is the end! I am really sorry it took me so long but I started reading some of the amazing stories on here and it made me realize that I am garbage lol so I tried writing but then always ended up hating it and erasing it. I realized I couldn't keep you guys hanging forever and that I should continue writing in an effort to be better so that's what I intend to do. Comments and constructive criticism are always welcome!

The soft, repetitive sounds of the respirator were almost serving as a lullaby to Chan, who was starting to nod off. It had been a week since Hyunjin had squeezed his hand but he still hadn’t woken up. The doctor said it had been a reflex, nothing more. Hyunjin wasn’t getting better, despite being on broad spectrum antibiotics, his fever remained stubborn. His body was just too tired to fight it off. The good news, if you wanted to call it that, was that he wasn’t getting worse. 

Everyone had taken turns sitting with him, not wanting to take the chance he might wake up alone. Everyone except Changbin. He hadn’t spoken to Chan since their altercation and he was keeping to himself. Chan knew that was a situation he needed to deal with soon but his primary focus was Hyunjin. He was exhausted, he took most of the over nights in the hospital so that none of his kids had to bear that burden. Jisung had forced him out of the room a few times, but other than that, he was there every night. There was a soft knock at the door as Seungmin, Felix and Jeongin entered. 

“We’re here to play with Hyunjinnie!” They exclaimed softly. That’s what they called it when it was their turn to stay at the hospital. They usually brought some sort of game with them to occupy themselves for a few hours and would even put a controller in Hyunjin’s hand in case he woke up and wanted to play too. Grateful for the break, Chan stood up and stretched, smiling at his youngest kids. 

“Alright but you better make sure you play fair!” He said with a laugh. The Maknae line nodded in agreement as they took Chan’s chair by the bed, already bickering about who would get to be which character in the game they were about to play.

When Chan finally returned home he sank into the couch slowly, unable to make the longer journey to his bedroom. His eyes closed and he managed a few hours of uneasy sleep when he was awoken by the sound of a door opening and the presence of another in the room.

“How is he?” Chan heard a small voice ask. He opened his eyes and turned to look in the door way. Changbin was standing there, clearly uncomfortable with his hands in his pockets. Chan stared at him for a moment before answering. 

“He’s the same. He still has a fever and he hasn’t woke up.” Turning back to face forward, closing his eyes again. “Where’s Minho and Jisung?” He asked. 

“They are at the store picking up something for dinner, the youngers said they wanted to eat something delicious tonight.” Changbin answered. Chan suddenly heard Changbin move further into the room and clear his throat. “Hyung, can we talk for a minute?” he asked nervously. Chan re-opened his eyes and nodded. He knew where this was going and he was ready for it. Changbin moved and sat next to Chan on the couch, tears started welling in his eyes. “I’m sorry hyung, I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have hit you and I really didn’t mean t-“ he stopped as Chan started laughing. 

“I’m not mad at you Changbin.” He said as his laughter subsided. He knew he shouldn’t be laughing, but he couldn’t help it, Changbin could be so adorable. “I know you were just scared for Hyunjin and you weren’t wrong, I should have listened. I am the leader and it’s my job to protect and care for all of you. I won’t make that mistake again. I promise you that.” He said as he pulled Changbin into a tight hug. Changbin gripped him in return, his tears flowing freely as relief flooded his body. “Now that that’s settled, you don’t have to avoid the hospital anymore. Come with me to see Hyunjin, it’s definitely your turn to watch him.” Chan said as he pulled from Changbin’s hold. 

“I can’t hyung.” Changbin answered sheepishly, his gaze fixed on the floor. 

“Why not? I am sure he would love it if you came to see him and no one at the hospital is mad at you for the fight or anything.” Chan said, giving him a puzzled look. 

“I can’t see him like that again.” He replied, raising his eyes to meet Chan’s. “He was so pale and hooked up to all those machines, he seemed so vulnerable and he just looked so… small. And it’s all my fault.” 

“It’s not easy for any of us to see him like that Changbin and it isn’t anyone’s fault. You know as well as all of us how determined he is, there was nothing we could have done. All we can do now is move forward and be better, together.” He said as he put his hand on his shoulder. “But the doctors all say he probably knows we are there and you are the only one who hasn’t gone to see him. We all need to be there for him, we are the only family he has. We’re the only family any of us has.” When he noticed his friend’s hesitation he added, “It won’t be that bad, I’ll go with you to see him.” 

Minho and Jisung walked through the front door, arms full with bags from the store. 

“Hyung! We were just about to make dinner, how’s Hyunjin?” Han asked as he set the bags on the kitchen counter. 

“He’s the same but Changbin and I are about to go see him.” He said, heaving himself off the couch and pulling Changbin with him. “We’ll send the others back for dinner.” 

“Oh okay, I’ll drop by the hospital later tonight then to bring you guys something to eat. I’ll stay with Hyunjin tonight so you can get some rest hyung.” Jisung said as he started unpacking the grocery bags. Chan smiled as he grabbed Changbin and pushed him out the door. 

As they approached Hyunjin’s room they heard arguing coming from behind the door. They opened it to find the Maknae line yelling back and forth at each other over Hyunjin’s bed. 

“YA!” Chan shouted and his startled kids turned to look at him. “What the hell is going on here?” He asked, scanning the faces of his youngest kids. Suddenly all three started talking at once, something about how Seungmin wouldn’t let them play a character for a turn but that he got the character first so he shouldn’t have to give it up. “What did I say about playing fairly? You’re causing a ruckus in the hospital, it’s a wonder Hyunjin can sleep through it!” Chan said sternly as their shoulders slumped in guilt. “If you can’t take turns and play fair then I will take the game and none of you can visit here okay?” 

“Okay” the three said in somber unison. Chan softened at the sight of them. 

“It’s alright, Changbin and I will take over with Hyunjin from here. Minnie and Jisungie have dinner waiting so go straight home okay?” He said as he ruffled each of their heads. “I think they said something about making you guys something…delicious?” The three perked right up at the mention of something tasty to eat. 

“Okay Chan hyung, we’ll see you at home!” Felix called over his shoulder as he raced with Jeongin and Seungmin to see who would get home first. Chan chuckled and rolled his eyes at their playfulness. He was grateful for their youth and cuteness, it served to lighten some of his troubles but he was also slightly jealous of it. They could be so carefree but that’s definitely the way he wanted it. He noticed Changbin hanging back by the door, hesitant to come in. 

“It’s alright Binnie.” He said, grabbing his hand and leading him to Hyunjin’s bed. “Talk to him if you like, I do sometimes.” Chan sat in his usual chair on the other side of the bed and took Hyunjin’s hand after he brushed a stray strand of hair from his face. Changbin watched as Chan began talking to his younger brother about random things; what the weather was like outside, latest news in the industry, and how everyone was talking about their performance. No one knew Hyunjin was sick. They had decided not to tell the fans so they wouldn’t have to worry them. They were on a long break so it wasn’t like Hyunjin would be missed if he wasn’t at an event. Changbin sat down and took Hyunjin’s other hand as he added on to what Chan was saying. 

“Yeah kid, you looked so cool during our performance. You killed all of our Stays, even other idols like Jinyoung sunbaenim are talking about how great you did. So you better wake up soon so you can thank them for all of their support or it would be rude, and we didn’t raise you to be rude. At least not that kind of rude.” Chan laughed at Changbin’s words. They spent the better part of an hour talking about this and that when Jisung walked in with a bag. 

“Hyungs! I brought your food” He said, obviously quite pleased with whatever was in the bag he was holding. Just as Chan and Changbin turned to greet him, a quiet alarm started going off as Hyunjin began twitching. All three turned back in surprise. “What’s wrong with him, is he having another seizure?” Jisung asked, terror thick in his voice. 

“I don’t know” Chan said as Hyunjin began to make a weird noise in the back of his throat. He grabbed Hyunjin’s hand as the doctor entered into the room and glanced at Hyunjin and then to his monitor. 

“It’s alright.” The doctor said as he removed the pillows from behind Hyunjin and gently laid him flat. He began undoing the straps and tubes around Hyunjin’s face as Hyunjin began to gag. 

“What the hell is going on?” Chan demanded, he squeezed Hyunjin’s hand tighter. The doctor didn’t answer as he pulled the long tube from Hyunjin’s mouth, who gasped and started coughing. 

“Welcome back Hyunjin. Take it easy, try to take some deep breaths.” The doctor coached, still ignoring Chan. Hyunjin’s eyes fluttered open and he looked around the room as his eyes began to focus. His eyes landed on Chan who was still clinging to his hand. 

“H-Hyung?” He asked gruffly. He cleared his throat before continuing. “Where am I?” He looked around the room, taking in the doctor and the nurse, and the incredulous expressions of Changbin and Jisung. Chan could see the panic start to rise in him. “What happened?” He asked again with more urgency. This time he attempted to sit up and became painfully aware of the incision to his right side. Gasping in discomfort, Chan and the doctor pushed him back to the bed. 

“It’s okay Hyunjinnie, you’re gonna be okay.” Chan said soothingly, stroking his hand. “You were just a little sick but you’re better now.” He said, giving him a sweet, reassuring smile. It was so hard to control the tears fighting to make their way to the surface, Hyunjin was scared and uncertain so that’s the last thing he needed from him right now. Changbin and Jisung weren’t having as much luck, tears of happiness and relief freely falling from their eyes. The doctor spoke up before anyone else had the opportunity. 

“I’m doctor Choi, and everything is going to be okay Hyunjin. I’m going to make sure you didn’t tear any stitches really quick while your brothers wait in the hall.” He was quickly met with argument as he began to usher the three from the room. “It will only be a minute, I will let you know the second it’s over.” The doctor said, closing the door behind them. 

True to his word, the doctor followed them out of the room only a few minutes later. “Everything looks great, he didn’t tear any stitches and the incision is healing nicely. We’ll continue to monitor his fever but this is a really good step. I think he’ll be just fine! He’ll need a lot of attention but if you think you are up for it, I don’t see why he couldn’t go home with you as early as this weekend. He might recover even faster at home.” He gave the boys a genuine smile and squeezed Chan’s shoulder as he started to turn away. He abruptly turned back to face them. “He will be a little groggy and confused so it’s better to keep it just you three tonight. I know it will be hard but we don’t want to overwhelm him. Tell them they can all come first thing tomorrow.” And with that last word he was gone. The three boys went back into Hyunjin’s room, relieved to find him still awake and propped up on a mountain of pillows. 

"I’m sorry hyung.” He said quietly as they took their seats on either side of his bed. 

“What are you sorry for Jinnie? You can’t help it if you’re sick” Chan said, giving his hand a gentle pat. 

“I really wasn’t feeling well before the performance and I should have told you! I just didn’t want to disappoint Stays anymore. They would be sad if I didn’t perform.” He replied, looking at his hands in his lap. 

“Stays would be more upset to learn you were so sick. You always need to tell us when something doesn’t feel right Hyunjin, so we can take care of you.” Chan said giving him a stern look but it near instantly melted. No one was going to be able to stay mad at him for a while. “We are all just glad that you are okay, you really scared us for a while.” Hyunjin nodded. 

“I know, I’m sorry. I will always be sure to tell you when I’m not feeling well. I’m so happy you guys are here with me.” He said before looking around the room. “Where is everyone else?” He asked, realizing only 3 were there with him. 

“Well we weren’t sure when you were going to wake up so we have been taking turns being here, everyone else is at home right now. They will be here first thing in the morning.” Jisung answered, giving Hyunjin a smile. 

“I can’t see them now?” Hyunjin whined. 

“Not right now Jinnie. We need to listen to what the doctor says, you need your rest.” Chan said firmly, not inviting him to protest further. 

“Just listen to what they are telling you, your recovery will go a lot faster and then you can come home with us.” Changbin added, hoping to use the opportunity of freedom from the hospital as motivation for him to behave. He knew Hyunjin wouldn’t like being cooped up in a hospital now that he was awake. The kid had far too much energy for that, sick or not. 

“Fine.” Hyunjin pouted, his bottom lip jutting out in the most adorable way making everyone in the room chuckle. 

“It will go by quick baby, if you get some rest they will be here before you know it. I’m sure Jeongin, Seungmin and Felix would love to play a game with you tomorrow.” Chan said, hoping to appease his sulking child. Hyunjin gave a sleepy grin in response as his head leaned back against his pillows, already fading into sleep. Chan smiled, nothing but love in his eyes. 

“I should get back and tell the others he is awake.” Jisung said softly. “They’ll be upset we didn’t call them right away.” Chan nodded in confirmation. 

“I should be the one to tell them so I will call first. Let them have a minute to be angry before you get home so they don’t take it out on you. I’m going to stay here, I don’t want him to wake up alone and not remember where he is.” Chan said, looking at Changbin and Jisung. They nodded as they stood up. 

“We’ll be back with everyone first thing tomorrow morning. We’ll bring you a fresh pair of clothes too hyung.” Changbin said, giving Hyunjin’s arm a gentle squeeze before following Jisung out of the room. 

… 

The rest of Stray kids were all huddled together in the living room watching a movie when Minho heard his phone start to buzz. Careful not to jostle the sleeping Jeongin in his lap, he reached over to answer. 

“Hyung? Everything okay?” He asked warily, Chan usually didn’t call at this hour. “WHAT? Hyunjin is awake?” Bolting upright, energy humming through his body at the news. Suddenly everyone was up and on high alert, waiting eagerly for more news. “That’s amazing, we’ll be right there.” Minho said after Chan had finished recounting what had happened. Jeongin, Seungmin and Felix already up and moving around. Minho’s face suddenly fell. “What the hell do you mean we can’t come tonight?” He demanded, the others freezing in their tracks. “That’s not fair, we want to see Hyunjin too!” Minho whined. The others listened intently, trying to hear what their leader was saying through the phone. “Fine.” Minho said, abruptly ending their phone call. The maknae line looked anxiously at him, waiting for him to speak. “Hyunjin woke up when Chan, Changbin and Jisung were there. The doctor said this is a really good sign and that he should be just fine with more rest and medicine.” 

“Can we go see him now?” Seungmin asked, eager to go see their brother. 

“No Chan hyung said we can’t see him tonight. Hyunjin already fell asleep and he needs a lot of that right now.” Minho admitted, his irritation subsiding in realizing Chan’s logic. He quickly continued when his younger brothers started to protest. “He said we could see him first thing in the morning. Hyunjin will be more awake then and he said you could bring one game to play with him for a minute if he is feeling up to it.” Minho told them, ruffling Felix’s hair. “The earlier you go to bed, the faster the morning will come and we can go.” He added. 

“Okay!” The three yelled together, racing off to change into pajamas and brush their teeth. He chuckled, they could be so adorable. They acted like triplets sometimes despite the gap between Jeongin and the other two. The front door suddenly swung open as Changbin and Jisung made their way into the house. 

“Hey guys, how was he when you saw him? Is he okay? Did he say anything?” Minho fired off questions before they had even shrugged off their coats. 

“He really seemed like he was going to be okay, he was a little groggy but he doesn’t need that awful machine to breathe anymore. The doctor’s said they just need his fever to break but he might not have to be in the hospital too much longer” Changbin answered, hopping around on one foot trying to remove his shoes. 

“Yeah and he asked about everyone, he really wanted to see you guys.” Jisung chimed in. “I’ll bet he’ll be really happy when we visit him tomorrow.” Minho beamed, satisfied with their answers to his questions. That night everyone slept soundly, the tension and worry that had been plaguing their minds was lifted. Chan smiled to himself in the dark as he realized how quiet the room was. For the first time in a while there were no noises of machines that followed him into his dreams, turning them to nightmares. He allowed the quiet peacefulness to lull him to sleep. 

…

“No fair! Jeongin got to pick the movie the last time.” Seungmin wailed as Changbin put on the movie title their maknae had chosen. 

“Don’t whine Seungminnie, you can pick the next one.” Jisung said, gently throwing a piece of popcorn at him. Seungmin simply stuck out his tongue in response as he settled back into Felix’s side. 

Chan looked around the room at his family. They had brought Hyunjin home from the hospital a few days ago and he was already so much better, his fever finally breaking the first night. He was currently on the couch cuddled up next to Changbin, a blanket tucked around him. Chan knew Hyunjin wouldn’t make it through very much of the movie, his eyelids were already drooping. Chan, Jisung and Minho were on the other couch, a large bowl of popcorn in the middle separating Chan from Jisung and Minho. The maknae line were on the floor amongst a giant heap of pillows and blankets with their own bowl of popcorn. Chan couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear, this was how it was supposed to be. 

Everything had begun returning to normal. Minho’s personality was just as weird and 4D as it had been before, Changbin stopped locking himself away in his room, and Jisung had finally found his voice again. Chan was sure between them they probably had enough material for two more albums. Chan had also changed for the better, relaxing back into his role as dad of the group without all of the control issues. He never wanted to push his group too hard again, they would get enough of that from their manager and their company. There was still a noticeable hole on the couch next to Chan but for the first time in a while, it didn’t hurt as bad and he could tell they were all feeling the same way. They would always miss their ninth member, but they could get through anything as long as they stuck together as family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's all she wrote, let me know what you think! I have another idea I might start writing soon but in the meantime if you have any suggestions on what I should write, I'm all ears. I hope everyone is doing well and if you are going through a struggle right now just remember, there is light at the end of the tunnel no matter how small or how far away it seems.

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, there is the end of the first chapter! Let me know what you think and if I should continue the story.


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